Top 12 Signs It’s Time To Move On From A Relationship

1. When you live in the past memories more than the present.
Do you replay the happy moments of the relationship to make you feel good about it? Do you use them as reasons to continue on with him/her? If so, it’s a sign your current relationship isn’t how you want it to be. You have to remember your relationship with the person exists in the current moment. Not in the past.

2. When the relationship brings you more pain than joy.
Sometimes, we tend to be blinded by the past happy moments of the relationship. To the extent we forget about all the unhappiness it brings us. If your relationship leaves you frustrated-/upset/unhappy more often than not; if your relationship is leaving you in tears every so often, perhaps this might not be the right person for you.

3. When he/she expects you to change.
The truest form of love is one that’s unconditional. Your partner shouldn’t expect you to change, unless it’s for your well-being (such as to quit smoking or to adopt a healthier diet). The issue is about the expectation of you to change. It marks the first step of him/her trying to mold you into his/her expectations of you, rather than you growing into your own.

4. When you stay on, expecting he/she will change.
The above applies for the other person as much as it applies for you. If you are staying on / getting into the relationship expecting the person to change, you are in this for the wrong reason. You are trying to change the person to fit your expectations, rather than accept him/her as the individual he/she is. Even if the person does changes, soon you will have something else you want him/her to change.

5. When you keep justifying his/her actions to yourself.
Whenever we experience a situation we’re uncomfortable about, we experience cognitive dissonance. It refers to the discomfort from being faced with something that conflicts against our beliefs. When this happens, we try to come up with explanations, justifications so we can feel good about the situation. If you are repeatedly justifying his/her actions, the relationship becomes built on your rationalizations, rather than the reality.

6. When he/she is causing you emotional/physical/verbal hurt.
Physical and verbal abuse are definite no-no’s. There is clearly something wrong if the other party abuses/hits/curses/swears at you, no matter how he/she tries to make up for it later. Even if it may be the spur of the moment, the fact that he/she lets slip in that moment shows there is something deep inside him/her that needs addressing. If he/she can’t care for you properly, he/she might not be the right person for you.

7. When the same situation/issue recurs even though you tried addressing it.
Once might be a coincidence. Twice, you might want to give another chance. But 3 times is a clear sign something is wrong. Do you find yourself in replay mode in your relationship? Do you keep landing in the same situation, the same scenario, the same outcome, time and again, no matter what you do? If so, perhaps you need to accept this is the furthest the relationship can get to.

8. When he/she puts little to no effort in the relationship.
Every relationship requires effort by the duo. The same applies for familial bonds, friendships, mentorships and most definitely love. Both of you have to commit to the relationship together. If you are constantly the one putting in more effort, sooner than later it’ll drain you. Unless this imbalance is addressed, it will only become bigger and bigger over time.

9. When your fundamental values and beliefs are different.
Sometimes, it’s possible both of you start off with the same values system. Over time, there will be changes. Maybe he grew to be a different person. Maybe you did. Maybe both of you changed. The changes may result in change in your fundamental philosophies, to the point where they no longer fit. If you can no longer connect with the person in the same manner as before, it’s time to reevaluate the relationship.

10. When the relationship is holding you back, hence preventing both of you from growing as individuals.
A relationship that hinders you from growing into your own isn’t the best one for you. On top of that, if you are not able to grow into your own, chances are your partner is facing a similar blockage as well. A real relationship should be one that enables you in your personal life journey, so you can then enable your partner in his/her life journeys as well.

11.When you stay on, expecting things to get better.
This is similar to #1, except it pertains to the future. Just like how you don’t live in the past, you don’t live in the future. You can hope that the future will be better, but the fact is you live now. If the only thing that’s making you hold on is the hope of a better future, the relationship isn’t exactly built on solid grounds. A building built on a shaky foundation will crash to an unsightly end when the foundation gives way.

12. When either of you no longer feels the same way about each other.
If you no longer have feelings for the other party, staying on is doing the other person an injustice. More importantly, it’s doing you a huge injustice. It’s best for him/her and you to part ways so you can move to better places. If the other person doesn’t have feelings for you anymore, holding on to him/her only drags out the misery. Just because you love the person doesn’t mean you have to be with the person.