The Double Standard in Promiscuity - Men are studs, Women are sluts

I was watching "All About Pep", an African American rendition of sex-in-the-city, that follows the real life dating adventures of Pepa (as in Salt-n-Pepa) and her three girlfriends. It's a fun and sassy show. Like "Sex in the City", it exposes the promiscuity and sexual vernacular of the single 21st century woman. All four women are looking for something serious and meaningful eventually, the operative word being "eventually", but none of them are putting their lives on hold to find Mr. Right. They each focus on having fun, living life to the fullest and finding themselves in the process. In which, it involves explicit dating, cocktails, clubbing, and if the guy and mood is just right, sex.

In the episode, one of the girls was being gently mocked for having had two lovers in two days (one on each evening). In defense, she brought up the question feminists and non-feminists, men and women have all debated, "Why is there a double standard for promiscuous men, versus women?" It was a good question and made me take a step back to ponder it for awhile. Considering times have changed, and we're leap years ahead of the gender and race conventions of our grandparents, why are women who are sexually active and dominant, considered easy or a slut?

This all made me question a few things, such as, why can't women have as much safe sex as they want? Or, why do women cringe at the question of how many partners they've had? And should they feel ashamed about it and why?

What are your thoughts on this? Also, feel free to vote above.

I don't care if say one of my GF's states to her circle that she had 6 penises in 1 week... Thats her "perogative" per say.

However she CAN NOT be upset or bitter if her name is spread like mustard in the streets and around her whereabouts because perhaps some say she may not have enough walls to GRIP IT.

Our generation of men I think have accepted more forward and more high sexual driven women.. However I do think you will get a bad rep when what u are working with is just plain doo doo. And I mean a loose wall or just wacky vagi.

Sorry for being UN PG13.

As far as number of men slept with - depends on the age ratio.

She couldve been with 6 men and she is 60 years old.. Or 4 men and she is 45... Or 15 men and she is 25.

As long as she is safe, isn't easy and isn't a cheater. Just do it with a person you're with. That's all.

LMAO! Your response has me rolling! Very un-PG-13 but I appreciate the candor because the more honest the answers are, the closer we get to the truth of the subject.

Your opinion seems to be based on the condition of the "cha-cha" and not necessarily the number of men slept with. So if a woman has slept with 50 men but her cha-cha feels like she's slept with 1, will that change people's opinion of her?

On another note, why do some women feel they have to tear down others because they don't agree with their sexual lifestyle? There are women who judge or immediately write off other women who are sexually aggressive/dominant, and label them as "whore". For example, I have a friend who has had her fair share of lovers and is sexually curious with threesoms and the same gender. Most people, after hearing this, would label her as a whore or queer. I have to admit when I was younger I would've agreed, but as I've gotten older I've become more lax and understanding of other women's sexual lifestyles; and quite honestly, if it affects me in no way and she's happy, why shouldn't I be happy for her? Or treat her the same as my other friends?

describe "isn't easy"?

Back of some people's minds, Numbers do count.

As far as your friend - Compare her to someone who is more conservative sexually..Are they viewed the same way if given descriptions of their comparable pasts? In the real world 1 will be viewed more of a negative way.

Of course it would not affect your friendship or relationship with her ..however her sexual lifestyle will be viewed a little different if someone who isn't after her "friendship" if you know what i mean.

Your mileage can either attract the opposite in a positive way or in a negative way depending on the type of man/woman you are dealing with.

Isn't easy to get in bed with. Not being easy shows how much respect women have for themselves. And that, for me, makes women so attractive.

so if i slept with 30 men in my lifetime but my private is still in tact... does that make me unattractive in your eyes?

different strokes for different folks!

whats trash may be a treasure to some!

You can tell(well I can), by the way the woman carries herself around others. If she shows signs of respect for herself around others, that is a plus on my list.

I don't care if you slept with 30 guys. As long as you didn't let those guys come to bed with you in just a couple of days. If you took your time on all 30 and showed yourself respect, then you are good on my list.

That is my opinion of it as well. Humans have the problem of disliking people who are "different". No matter what it is related to, clothes, hair style, interests, anything. I think this is just another one of those things.